Sitting in a plane on my way home, I can’t help thinking to
myself “is this really it?” Is it really over? I mean, it can’t be… can it?
Vancouver, civilization, I’m not ready for you. I feel as if I have left the
real world behind. Everything that I have has gone into the rainforest, and
then a bit more. Without it, the world just doesn’t seem right. In fact, the
only world I can imagine right now is the rainforest… there is nothing else.
I think that’s what makes me love the rainforest so much.
The isolation, the harsh conditions, the constant overwhelming sense of your
own insignificance – it requires you to devote everything you have to simply
survive. Those who aren’t willing to or able to throw everything they’ve got at
it don’t last, as we saw many times throughout the season. It’s hard to explain
how I feel about my time out here. The wilderness is just so enormous, so
all-encompassing, so unforgiving that it demands complete commitment in all parts
of your life. To cope I think you need to be able to reshape how you think, how
you look at nature, who you are. Pulling a botfly out of someone’s back becomes
a fun lunchtime activity. Nobody worries when you realize you’ve been having
full conversations with yourself out loud. It’s reassuring to know that the
rest of the team also occasionally talks to rocks, yells at the weather, or
pulls the legs off of mosquitos one by one.
I am stopped every day by the overwhelming beauty of my home and the
realization that I am just another tiny part of it. I think it’s helped me to
realize what I really need, and to bring out an appreciation of all aspects of
my life. 6 months after I first arrived and
every day in the forest continues to bring me new things to look at with awe. I
would give up everything to be back there right now. A break every couple of weeks
to eat some cheese and meat and I would never even need to leave.
But.. alas, ‘tis the end. I hope that life will not just go
back to normal, that this will remain a revolutionary point in my life. If
you’ve ever considered working in the field, get out there as soon as you can.
Just know that it’s going to be hard. There will be bugs. You will get tropical
diseases. You will go a little bit insane. But if you can give it everything
you’ve got, you’ll have the best time of your life. Ask any of my teammates and
they will tell you the same.
So. For now, this is the end. Despite my lack of blog
activity, I have been writing blog posts over the past 4 months that I will
work on getting online. I hope I’ve done my experience even a tenth of the
justice it deserves. Looking forward to seeing everyone back home. San Pedro
and Mobile team, if you’re reading this, I love you guys. Keep killin it out
there, I know you will. We’re the only
group to stay together, and it’s because of all of you!
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